Every friendship has a basis on which it sits and rests. It is important to know what a friendship is based on. Friendship can be based on one of five things: affinity, personality, common bond, need or interest.
1. In an affinity-based friendship, two friends just take a natural liking or attraction to each other. They just seem to click. It's a chemistry thing. This form of friendship tends to lean towards romantic involvement, though it may develop between two people who may never drag romance into it. Affinity friends do not have to be alike. In fact, they may actually be opposites, but as we know from magnetic poles, opposites can and do attract.
2. In a personality-based friendship, two individuals become friends because they are similar. They may both be reserved (introvert), outgoing (extrovert), or mediocre (average) for that matter. Or politically, they may be conservative, liberal or moderate in their views. They may both be secular, progressive, religious or traditional.
3. Common-bond friendship is one between persons of similar ethnicity (two Hispanics), religion (two Muslims), church (two Baptists), nationality (two Chinese), team (two Celtics fans) or life experience (two refugees). Yes, when it comes to friendship, birds of like feather do flock together.
4. In a need-based friendship, two persons came together because one of them had a need that the other helped meet. For example, you become friends with the person who paid for your stay at a motel when you lost your job or when you just got of jail.
Need-based friendship can be an uncomfortable union of unequals, unless something happens for the two friends to switch roles, whereby the one who had received help before becomes the helper in a situation that puts the original helper at a point of need. For example, the guy who paid his friend's motel bill gets evicted by his landlord and has to lodge with his friend who now owns an apartment.
Because of the usually one-sided nature of need-based friendship, it is often not a simultaneously enjoyable experience for both friends equally. Therefore, this form of friendship is often short-lived, if the "beneficiary" (needy person) and the "benefactor" do not switch hats every now and then throughout the relationship.
5. Interest-based friendship is one in which two friends share a common interest, which may be sports, music, career path, books, movies, travel, etc. This form of friendship is likely to terminate if one person replaces the interest that formed the basis of the relationship.
For example, if you and I became friends primarily because we were members of the same band, our friendship may bite the dust if our band disbands.
Interest-based friendship runs the risk of being very superficial, though it can become deep and meaningful if the parties put in the effort needed to keep their relationship interesting.
1. In an affinity-based friendship, two friends just take a natural liking or attraction to each other. They just seem to click. It's a chemistry thing. This form of friendship tends to lean towards romantic involvement, though it may develop between two people who may never drag romance into it. Affinity friends do not have to be alike. In fact, they may actually be opposites, but as we know from magnetic poles, opposites can and do attract.
2. In a personality-based friendship, two individuals become friends because they are similar. They may both be reserved (introvert), outgoing (extrovert), or mediocre (average) for that matter. Or politically, they may be conservative, liberal or moderate in their views. They may both be secular, progressive, religious or traditional.
3. Common-bond friendship is one between persons of similar ethnicity (two Hispanics), religion (two Muslims), church (two Baptists), nationality (two Chinese), team (two Celtics fans) or life experience (two refugees). Yes, when it comes to friendship, birds of like feather do flock together.
4. In a need-based friendship, two persons came together because one of them had a need that the other helped meet. For example, you become friends with the person who paid for your stay at a motel when you lost your job or when you just got of jail.
Need-based friendship can be an uncomfortable union of unequals, unless something happens for the two friends to switch roles, whereby the one who had received help before becomes the helper in a situation that puts the original helper at a point of need. For example, the guy who paid his friend's motel bill gets evicted by his landlord and has to lodge with his friend who now owns an apartment.
Because of the usually one-sided nature of need-based friendship, it is often not a simultaneously enjoyable experience for both friends equally. Therefore, this form of friendship is often short-lived, if the "beneficiary" (needy person) and the "benefactor" do not switch hats every now and then throughout the relationship.
5. Interest-based friendship is one in which two friends share a common interest, which may be sports, music, career path, books, movies, travel, etc. This form of friendship is likely to terminate if one person replaces the interest that formed the basis of the relationship.
For example, if you and I became friends primarily because we were members of the same band, our friendship may bite the dust if our band disbands.
Interest-based friendship runs the risk of being very superficial, though it can become deep and meaningful if the parties put in the effort needed to keep their relationship interesting.
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