Cohabitation: How to Cut Down the Shack Up Craze

I pointed out in another blog that people choose to cohabit, shack up or live together without marriage for one of three big reasons: (1) They have an attitude that says "Marriage is only a piece of paper”; (2) they think that living together is a "test drive" for marriage; (3) they are afraid that marriage may reduce their welfare or social security check.

But there is a blunt reason for widespread cohabitation in our society: Boys and men love free sex; girls and women let them have it. That’s it.

If women want men to commit to marriage, then women must withhold sex from men until men marry women. Does it make any sense to you, dear lady, that the typical guy will want to reward you for something he can get for free?

As a certified male, I guarantee you that every man worth his manhood will do anything, short of taking his own life or going to jail, to obtain sex with the woman he loves. He will even pay a huge amount of money for sex. Hey, why do you think men pay female prostitutes, and not vice versa? It’s the same reason why men are the #1 subscribers to Play Boy magazine. Men love sex, and they’re willing to pay the cost.

The really awkward thing is that ever since women got “liberated”, more and more of them are putting the aggressive moves on men to have sex with them. What, you offer a guy sex so he can commit to marrying you? Are you kidding me? Yep, he may marry you, but you’ve given him a long rope, and the guy is more likely to play delay tactics after he’s seen your nakedness, or played you.

Here is the quickest way to get any serious guy to marry a serious woman. The woman should say something like this…

“You say you love me, right? You say I’m beautiful, right? And you say I’m special, right? And you say you’ll do anything for me, right? Well, my dear, if all that is true, then don’t I deserve something as simple and special as a marriage license. I consider sex and my body something very special, and I just can’t give it away to anyone. I must keep this treasure for that special someone who will respect me enough not to think of getting me free of charge. Are you that special person or not? If you really love me, you will wait until we are married before I can give you my body, sex and all.”

And, man, you think of it this way. To go into business, you need a business license. To enroll in school, you need an ID card, a registration, or some kind of paper work. To drive a car, you need a driver’s license. In the school my kids attend, to play sports you need to take a physical, with written results turned in to the coach.

Now, do you consider a woman or marriage less important than a business, than school, than driving a car, or playing sports? If you shouldn’t drive without a license, does it not make sense to you that you need a license to have sex with a woman? Hey, man, a marriage license is really your sex license.

On that point, when a police stops a driver, the cop walks over to the driver and says, “May I have your driver’s license, please?” Won’t it be really interesting if every time you were seen or cut having sex, the police came over and say, “Show me your sex license?” Can you imagine so many couples not able to produce the license? Can you see them in a hurry putting their pants back on and fleeing the sex scene?

Women, there is no sex police. Why not play that role to help the boys out some?

My point is this: when women stop giving men free sex outside of marriage, we will begin to see a greater number of men committing to marry their ladies. Then there will be more marriages with lots of responsible sex to follow.

But will that reduce the rate of divorce? Well, that’s a whole different can of worms.

Cohabitation: Shack Up to Break Up?

Cohabitation is just a big word for shacking up, which is two people living together before marriage or instead of marriage. It is like being husband and wife but without the wedding ceremony, without the marriage license. Shacking up is as close to a free ride as you can get in the arena of sexual relationships.

People who take the "shack up" path convince themselves that cohabitation is better to their relationship than marriage. Here are some reasons why people shack up:

1. The attitude that says "Marriage is only a piece of paper". This was the overriding attitude of Americans in the 1960s and 1970s. Those with this attitude seek to avoid marriage, because they somehow despise marriage, especially for the expectations that come with marriage.
   
2. Living together is a "test drive" for marriage. The cohabiting couple mistakenly believe that if they shack up before they get married, they will improve the chances of their marriage succeeding. That's what they think until they get hit with the facts that cohabiting will actually endanger their success in marriage. Research shows that five to seven years of shacking up point to the following reality: 39% chance that the couple will break up; 40% chance that you'll marry the person, with up to 80% chance that the marriage will end in divorce; 21% chance that you will continue to shack up with the person and keep delaying marriage. Shacking up becomes a game of chicken, a cop out from saying "I do".Fear of marriage. Why would a couple be afraid to marry? One reason may be that they saw their parents divorce and they want no part of such breakups. Cohabitation becomes the safer option to avoid the sense of failure that divorce brings.
3. Negative effect on income. I have spoken with cohabiting couples who said getting married would mean a pay cut. Say what? Yes, they actually say, "If we get married, the government will reduce the Social Security check." If that is true, then the tax laws of the United States need to change to favor marriage rather than discourage it. However, resisting marriage because your income may go down reveals a screwed up sense of priority that clearly rates money as more important than marriage or love. How can you say, "I love you enough to die for you", if you are not willing to pay the easier price of less money?
   

All in all, if you choose to shack up, you set yourself up to break up. And if you don't break up, you still pay the social price of less respect from people who know you are shacking up. And you know too that you deserve less respect for not doing "the right thing", the responsible thing ~ get married!