Thursday, July 24, 2008

Purpose-Driven Friendship

Why do humans become friends? Unlike animals that may flock or form packs, humans choose their friends deliberately, for better or for worse.

Every real friendship has a
purpose. A friendship should be active and mutual in order to fulfill its purpose. There are at least six reasons why humans choose to befriend one another.

1.
Mutual assistance: friends are to help each other. A relationship in which one person serves to enable the other falls short of the meaning of friendship. Enabling someone is an abuse of friendship.

2.
Motivation: friends encourage each other. They edify or build up each other. Friends inspire each other to succeed and excel beyond mediocrity, beyond average.

3. Improvement: friends make each other better; friends sharpen each other; King Solomon described it as iron sharpening iron; friends improve each other's personhood, self-esteem, confidence or performance as iron sharpens iron.

4. Advancement or Progress: friends help each other move from one point to the other

5. Maturity: friends nurture each other to grow up, become mature, a more complete person.

6. Endurance: friendship is a coping mechanism; a true friend gives you the edge in difficult times, because she will strengthen and empower you to cope with some of life's toughest challenges; friends see each other through hardship, without being mere bystanders. Friendship can make the difference between surviving war, as prisoner of war, or life in a refugee camp.

Friendship that fails to somehow in some way make one or both friends better cannot be called genuine friendship. It may be a leech-connection, a sponge-bond, or codependency, but not friendship in the true sense of the concept. Any friendship that ceases to make one better no longer has any purpose for being kept alive.

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